I love big government.
I love congressmen and senators who get in and when they are done they get a huge pension and health care for the rest of their lives like kings and queens.
I love leaders who can't work with each other because they see the other side as the enemy.
I love the blame playing, non-cooperating they do.
I love the vote where all one side votes one way and the other side all vote the other.
I love the push to give, give, give, to everyone if they don't want to work, even if they can.
I love the people who just decide to let the government take care of them.
I love that our leaders are so busy shoveling the money out one door and printing it ever faster that they are bankrupting us.
I love that they are so busy helping everyone that they are hurting everyone.
Everyone has the answer to America's problems but no one seems to get anything done.
I would love to have people working to help people help themselves. The more they give the more they cripple people's desire to help themselves.
I'm lying. I don't think anyone loves it.
Maybe we could lease the government out to someone else....
But, why would we wish what we have on someone else?
Moron Alert - Small Print, Fast Talk
Deception.
Slipping something past you.
Bait and switch.
A curve ball.
What do all these things have to do with the title?
Have you looked at the fine print on ads lately or heard some person at the end of a television or radio ad blast through a disclaimer that is nearly impossible to follow?
They fill the legal letter of the law to let companies do the double-shuffle to say they told you what you are getting into without doing it in a way that lets you know in an obvious way.
For example, I was looking at a way to get digital tv the other day and the advertised price was $9.99 per month.
That's when the small print started.
Turns out it was just for three months, then the price tripled.
It also turns out you had to sign up for two years.
Where do you see that?
In the fine print.
Oh yes, that fine print is mighty fine. Fine indeed.
The great price turns into a two year commitment.
It's like some predator seeing the prey and saying to himself, just come a little closer to the trap, just a little closer, come on just a few more steps, one more step into the trap.
Than WHAM! The trap slams shut and they have you - for two years.
What a joke. Meant to protect us and everyone is happy that everything is disclosed in print an eagle would find difficult to read without a magnifying glass.
Thank you politicians for protecting us.
I feel protected. I feel at peace. Mostly because I, for once read the impossible to read fine print and didn't step into that mighty legal trap.
Legal yes. Unethical yes.
But as long as the company gets their money, that's all that matters.
Slipping something past you.
Bait and switch.
A curve ball.
What do all these things have to do with the title?
Have you looked at the fine print on ads lately or heard some person at the end of a television or radio ad blast through a disclaimer that is nearly impossible to follow?
They fill the legal letter of the law to let companies do the double-shuffle to say they told you what you are getting into without doing it in a way that lets you know in an obvious way.
For example, I was looking at a way to get digital tv the other day and the advertised price was $9.99 per month.
That's when the small print started.
Turns out it was just for three months, then the price tripled.
It also turns out you had to sign up for two years.
Where do you see that?
In the fine print.
Oh yes, that fine print is mighty fine. Fine indeed.
The great price turns into a two year commitment.
It's like some predator seeing the prey and saying to himself, just come a little closer to the trap, just a little closer, come on just a few more steps, one more step into the trap.
Than WHAM! The trap slams shut and they have you - for two years.
What a joke. Meant to protect us and everyone is happy that everything is disclosed in print an eagle would find difficult to read without a magnifying glass.
Thank you politicians for protecting us.
I feel protected. I feel at peace. Mostly because I, for once read the impossible to read fine print and didn't step into that mighty legal trap.
Legal yes. Unethical yes.
But as long as the company gets their money, that's all that matters.
Moron Alert - Manhole Cover Placement
Arrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I was just driving down the street and every 50 yards or so there was a manhole cover right where the drivers-side tires hit.
I...just...can't...believe...the...absolute...moron...that must have designed where to put that pipe complete with manhole covers!
If they would have put it in the middle of the street where you move over to turn there wouldn't be any problem, or if they moved it to the right about 3 feet, but NOOOOOO!
They had to put it right where you had to drive, unless you drive clear to the right to miss every cover.
What a moron. What a bunch of morons. Someone should have noticed it and thought about what a pain it would be for every driver that went down the street.
Yes, I could drive on other streets, but the morons seem to have brothers who put them in the same place on other roads!
Everyone gets to have the same thumping experience, everyone gets to have their cars slowly damaged, everyone gets to have another smile each time they thump through another one.
Enough said. There are probably people who would patiently explain why they had to be there. Those same people are morons. Someone needs to remember that someone is going to be driving over the pipe for years.
When you build a road, think about where you put the manhole covers.
What a bunch of Morons!
I was just driving down the street and every 50 yards or so there was a manhole cover right where the drivers-side tires hit.
I...just...can't...believe...the...absolute...moron...that must have designed where to put that pipe complete with manhole covers!
If they would have put it in the middle of the street where you move over to turn there wouldn't be any problem, or if they moved it to the right about 3 feet, but NOOOOOO!
They had to put it right where you had to drive, unless you drive clear to the right to miss every cover.
What a moron. What a bunch of morons. Someone should have noticed it and thought about what a pain it would be for every driver that went down the street.
Yes, I could drive on other streets, but the morons seem to have brothers who put them in the same place on other roads!
Everyone gets to have the same thumping experience, everyone gets to have their cars slowly damaged, everyone gets to have another smile each time they thump through another one.
Enough said. There are probably people who would patiently explain why they had to be there. Those same people are morons. Someone needs to remember that someone is going to be driving over the pipe for years.
When you build a road, think about where you put the manhole covers.
What a bunch of Morons!
Moron Alert - PETA Should be WKAAA
So what does WKAA stand for? Be there in a minute.
I've been reading some interesting statistics about the group PETA, the ones that are pushing for more humane treatment of animals and saving animals.
Right.
From what I read, it sounds like PETA should be renamed WKAAA, which stands for "We Kill Almost All Animals."
Why do I say that?
Well, according to material from PETA, it sounds like they kill 83% of all animals they "rescue."
They even kill the animals they pick up from people to "rescue." It sounds from reports, that they even kill the animals as soon as they are put in the van and before the van even leaves the person's house that gave over the animal!
Some of their employees were arrested for throwing dead dogs into dumpsters in the last week. Seems they needed to get rid of some extra dead animals and the dumpster seemed the most logical place for them.
One quote from a senior level person made it sound like they decided that sometimes the most human way to treat an animal is to euthanize it. At least according to them.
So, maybe it's just impossible to save the animals they "rescue." Well, in one place where they were killing 80+% of the animals they took in, another rescue agency for animals was managing to save 73% of the animals they took in.
Just amazing that the biggest name in saving animals sounds like they are one of the biggest killers of those animals.
What do you think they would say if they found someone doing exactly what they are doing?
Think they'd have a problem with it?
Definite Moron Alert!
I've been reading some interesting statistics about the group PETA, the ones that are pushing for more humane treatment of animals and saving animals.
Right.
From what I read, it sounds like PETA should be renamed WKAAA, which stands for "We Kill Almost All Animals."
Why do I say that?
Well, according to material from PETA, it sounds like they kill 83% of all animals they "rescue."
They even kill the animals they pick up from people to "rescue." It sounds from reports, that they even kill the animals as soon as they are put in the van and before the van even leaves the person's house that gave over the animal!
Some of their employees were arrested for throwing dead dogs into dumpsters in the last week. Seems they needed to get rid of some extra dead animals and the dumpster seemed the most logical place for them.
One quote from a senior level person made it sound like they decided that sometimes the most human way to treat an animal is to euthanize it. At least according to them.
So, maybe it's just impossible to save the animals they "rescue." Well, in one place where they were killing 80+% of the animals they took in, another rescue agency for animals was managing to save 73% of the animals they took in.
Just amazing that the biggest name in saving animals sounds like they are one of the biggest killers of those animals.
What do you think they would say if they found someone doing exactly what they are doing?
Think they'd have a problem with it?
Definite Moron Alert!
Moron Alert - Stimulus package
What have we come to in America when we believe that no matter how stupid we have been, no matter how many dumb decisions we have made, no matter how deep in debt we have gotten ourselves because we live beyond our means, that the government should take money from everyone else and save our sorry backsides?
What a world. No personal responsibility, no risk, the government - ole Uncle Sammy will be there with a barrel of tax money just waiting for us to stub our toes and dump cash in our laps.
And, if we happen to be a huge corporation, all we have to do is belly up to the bar and cry loud enough and billions come raining down.
Dumb for the government, dumb for the idiots who lived beyond their means, dumb because we get to pay for all their toys.
Morons
What a world. No personal responsibility, no risk, the government - ole Uncle Sammy will be there with a barrel of tax money just waiting for us to stub our toes and dump cash in our laps.
And, if we happen to be a huge corporation, all we have to do is belly up to the bar and cry loud enough and billions come raining down.
Dumb for the government, dumb for the idiots who lived beyond their means, dumb because we get to pay for all their toys.
Morons
Moron Alert - Carbon Offsets
This just may be the dumbest way ever invented to rationalize how you are living.
Have a huge home that eats lots of energy? Whoa! Just buy some carbon offsets to give yourself a zero carbon footprint to ease your conscience.
Got lots of cars or toys or whatever that suck oil tankers dry with their use? Just buy more carbon offsets to give you that feel-good satisfied peaceful feeling.
Feeling like you want to impress the other mega rich or friendly neighborhood green actor or actress? Jut buy another load of carbon offsets. Green is in baby! Let the good times roll and just add the carbon offsets as another cost of doing business of giving everyone the business.
You may win a prize for helping the world realize we're going into global warming as soon as we thaw out of the glaciers of this past winter, but get a huge house, impress your friends with the carbon offsets you can buy and you're in baby.
Ah, what a good feeling. Instead of just doing good for good sake and not worrying about keeping track of your carbon footprint, you have to keep track now to make sure you aren't causing more negatives than positive through your lifestyle.
Let's all just sit and grin at each other because we are all so proud of our zero footprint.
What a bunch of morons.
Have a huge home that eats lots of energy? Whoa! Just buy some carbon offsets to give yourself a zero carbon footprint to ease your conscience.
Got lots of cars or toys or whatever that suck oil tankers dry with their use? Just buy more carbon offsets to give you that feel-good satisfied peaceful feeling.
Feeling like you want to impress the other mega rich or friendly neighborhood green actor or actress? Jut buy another load of carbon offsets. Green is in baby! Let the good times roll and just add the carbon offsets as another cost of doing business of giving everyone the business.
You may win a prize for helping the world realize we're going into global warming as soon as we thaw out of the glaciers of this past winter, but get a huge house, impress your friends with the carbon offsets you can buy and you're in baby.
Ah, what a good feeling. Instead of just doing good for good sake and not worrying about keeping track of your carbon footprint, you have to keep track now to make sure you aren't causing more negatives than positive through your lifestyle.
Let's all just sit and grin at each other because we are all so proud of our zero footprint.
What a bunch of morons.
Moron Alert - Elevator Buttons
Ever watch someone in an elevator in a tall building?
In elevators where the buttons go sideways and then up, you watch people all the time look all over to see where the floor number is that they want.
In some well designed elevators, where the numbers go vertically, the people look for their floor, click it and go.
I've been working in the same building for years and I watch people struggle with the sideways numbering confuse people every day.
Hasn't anyone learned how to do usability testing to see what works and what confuses people?
Nuff said.
In elevators where the buttons go sideways and then up, you watch people all the time look all over to see where the floor number is that they want.
In some well designed elevators, where the numbers go vertically, the people look for their floor, click it and go.
I've been working in the same building for years and I watch people struggle with the sideways numbering confuse people every day.
Hasn't anyone learned how to do usability testing to see what works and what confuses people?
Nuff said.
Moron Alert - Computers Easy to Use? What Moron Said That?
For twenty plus years now the computer industry has been pushing the dead horse that computers are easy to use.
You still hear that, sometimes subtly, sometimes not. It wasn't true twenty years ago, isn't true now.
Granted, there are some features of computers, Mac or PC, that are easy to use. That has always been the case.
But, having worked designing software for both platforms, and designing web interfaces, and having tested people of all ages, again on both platforms, I can tell you that whoever said they are easy to use is a real Moron.
Yes, I know there are some software applications that are easy to use, but when you watch hundreds of people struggle with Mac and PC it is painful.
By now, simplicity should be a given, not an afterthought. Ease of use should be a standard not a marketing tool.
Watch how often even expert users ask each other, "now how is it that you do ..." and you will see what I mean.
All operating systems are too bloated, too complex, too much.
The average person uses few of any application's myriad features.
Mac and Windows? Give us power, give us beautiful interfaces, make them simple.
Ahhhhh, life could be good.
You still hear that, sometimes subtly, sometimes not. It wasn't true twenty years ago, isn't true now.
Granted, there are some features of computers, Mac or PC, that are easy to use. That has always been the case.
But, having worked designing software for both platforms, and designing web interfaces, and having tested people of all ages, again on both platforms, I can tell you that whoever said they are easy to use is a real Moron.
Yes, I know there are some software applications that are easy to use, but when you watch hundreds of people struggle with Mac and PC it is painful.
By now, simplicity should be a given, not an afterthought. Ease of use should be a standard not a marketing tool.
Watch how often even expert users ask each other, "now how is it that you do ..." and you will see what I mean.
All operating systems are too bloated, too complex, too much.
The average person uses few of any application's myriad features.
Mac and Windows? Give us power, give us beautiful interfaces, make them simple.
Ahhhhh, life could be good.
Moron Alert - Gas Pumps and Credit Cards
Gas pumps that take credit cards without having to go into the building are a great idea.
Most pumps ask you whether you want to pay at the pump or inside. Or, they may ask what type of credit card you want to use.
Whatever they ask, the smart ones, if you just insert your card, recognize the fact that you are paying at the pump, recognize your card and magic, you can pump gas.
The Moron designed pay at the pump forces you to push the button to say you want to pay at the pump, select what type of credit card you want to use, answer from one to many questions, including if you want a car wash, and you diddle around when you just want to gas and go.
Idiots. Idiots and Morons.
Morons give us fits, and the sad part is that we never seem to run out of them.
Most pumps ask you whether you want to pay at the pump or inside. Or, they may ask what type of credit card you want to use.
Whatever they ask, the smart ones, if you just insert your card, recognize the fact that you are paying at the pump, recognize your card and magic, you can pump gas.
The Moron designed pay at the pump forces you to push the button to say you want to pay at the pump, select what type of credit card you want to use, answer from one to many questions, including if you want a car wash, and you diddle around when you just want to gas and go.
Idiots. Idiots and Morons.
Morons give us fits, and the sad part is that we never seem to run out of them.
Moron Alert - Inkjet Printer Ink
In a study commissioned by Epson recently, it showed that the majority of printers stop printing with the current print cartridges when they are still an average of 58% full.
What! What! What!
Not only are they holding people hostage for outrageous prices for a tiny spit of ink, they now set their printers up to only use part of that ink!
I talked to a print cartridge reseller a month ago.
He couldn't believe some of the new, lower priced cartridges that are coming out.
He said that when you open up some of the cartridges, they have half the ink reservoir filled with foam and that some of them have as little as a teaspoonful of ink in them!
What a crock!
But at least the printer companies are showing compassion on us, the morons of the world.
Don't you feel blessed?
But that's just my opinion.
What! What! What!
Not only are they holding people hostage for outrageous prices for a tiny spit of ink, they now set their printers up to only use part of that ink!
I talked to a print cartridge reseller a month ago.
He couldn't believe some of the new, lower priced cartridges that are coming out.
He said that when you open up some of the cartridges, they have half the ink reservoir filled with foam and that some of them have as little as a teaspoonful of ink in them!
What a crock!
But at least the printer companies are showing compassion on us, the morons of the world.
Don't you feel blessed?
But that's just my opinion.
Moron Alert - Jetta Stalkers Advertisement
What was Volkswagon thinking?
Their ads have a current owner of a Jetta calling up the previous owner who seems really surprised to hear from the new owner.
The new owner is excited to talk to the previous owner and says they should hang out.
The previous owner seems to be thinking, "what the heck is going on?"
Does anyone else wonder how the current owner got the previous owners name?
Granted, it is an advertisement, but to me it seems to be sending the message that "we're selling your used car to some stalker wacko who is going to find you and bug you to spend time with him/her." But, that is a great reason to buy our car!
Whoever thought this ad up, wasn't thinking the concept through.
This is one creepy weird ad.
Their ads have a current owner of a Jetta calling up the previous owner who seems really surprised to hear from the new owner.
The new owner is excited to talk to the previous owner and says they should hang out.
The previous owner seems to be thinking, "what the heck is going on?"
Does anyone else wonder how the current owner got the previous owners name?
Granted, it is an advertisement, but to me it seems to be sending the message that "we're selling your used car to some stalker wacko who is going to find you and bug you to spend time with him/her." But, that is a great reason to buy our car!
Whoever thought this ad up, wasn't thinking the concept through.
This is one creepy weird ad.
Moron Alert - Standby Lights on Equipment
What is with all the "standby" lights on all the new vcr's, dvd's and lots of other pieces of equipment?
When I turn off the equipment, the green light turns red to tell me it is in standby mode just ready and waiting for me to use it again.
Who doesn't know when a piece of equipment is off? Most things have a light to tell you it is on, so unless you are a moron, when the light is off the machine is off.
What moron decided to have all these lights showing when a machine is off?
Now all my machines show a red light when they are off. When they are off I want them off and not sucking electricity down the tube. Even though the engineers would say it is only a tiny amount. Times that by millions of machines and it is a stupid waste of electricity.
On some equipment, like battery chargers, the light is green when you connect a battery to them and they stay green.
Others are green when you connect a battery to them and then the green light flashes when the battery is charged.
Still other chargers don't show any light until the battery is charged and then they either blink green or the green light comes on.
Even still others have a red light when you put the battery in which changes to green when the battery is charged.
When people have ipods, cameras, computers, tools, etc., all with batteries and chargers, it is just giggly fun to try and remember which stupid sequence the charger lights you should expect to see.
But please, moron engineer, when a piece of equipment is off, get rid of the stupid, moronic, absolutely idiotic red light to tell you the machine is off. It is stupid, stupid, stupid, and did I forget to say stupid?
The first person who decided to design the equipment with that dumb red light turned on to tell you that the machine is off sunk us all a step down in the premordial ooze.
When that person dies and takes those moron ideas to the grave, we should put a small red light on his or her headstone.....permanently lit.
When I turn off the equipment, the green light turns red to tell me it is in standby mode just ready and waiting for me to use it again.
Who doesn't know when a piece of equipment is off? Most things have a light to tell you it is on, so unless you are a moron, when the light is off the machine is off.
What moron decided to have all these lights showing when a machine is off?
Now all my machines show a red light when they are off. When they are off I want them off and not sucking electricity down the tube. Even though the engineers would say it is only a tiny amount. Times that by millions of machines and it is a stupid waste of electricity.
On some equipment, like battery chargers, the light is green when you connect a battery to them and they stay green.
Others are green when you connect a battery to them and then the green light flashes when the battery is charged.
Still other chargers don't show any light until the battery is charged and then they either blink green or the green light comes on.
Even still others have a red light when you put the battery in which changes to green when the battery is charged.
When people have ipods, cameras, computers, tools, etc., all with batteries and chargers, it is just giggly fun to try and remember which stupid sequence the charger lights you should expect to see.
But please, moron engineer, when a piece of equipment is off, get rid of the stupid, moronic, absolutely idiotic red light to tell you the machine is off. It is stupid, stupid, stupid, and did I forget to say stupid?
The first person who decided to design the equipment with that dumb red light turned on to tell you that the machine is off sunk us all a step down in the premordial ooze.
When that person dies and takes those moron ideas to the grave, we should put a small red light on his or her headstone.....permanently lit.
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